1. “Woah, I definitely should not have judged this guy on his height.” Surprise—it’s huge! You did not see that one coming.
2. “Score—he’s a manscaper!” You’re not afraid of a little fuzz, but it’s definitely more enjoyable if you don’t have to maneuver around those h.airs.
3. “Hmm, I’ve never seen that kind of curve before.” Like snowflakes, fingerprints, and Beyoncé’s hairstyles, no two p_enises are exactly alike—except maybe ones belonging to identical twins. Note to self: Google that later.