8 Signs A Guy Suffers From SPS (Small Pe_nis Syndrome)

  1. Miscellaneous

There are some professions/miscellaneous things that require you to have a small pen.

Here’s a brief list: owning a Mustang, being obsessed with your fraternity (TFM, BRO!), being mean to animals to assert your dominance, refusing to drink light beer or admit that anything but angus beef steak is your favorite food, thinking copious amounts of drugs and/or alcohol will magically grow your pen, doing steroids (apparently this has a literal effect on the size of your pen), thinking (and telling people) that you could ever be Don Draper (or really any of the men on Mad Men), and finally, carrying a weapon at all times because if all else fails, your tiny pen is never going to protect you from harm.