Aunty Mzansi: I have stopped cheating but still get beaten

QUESTION: I’m 23 years old and have been dating my boyfriend for five years. I have been cheating ever since I met him.

I have stopped cheating, but my man always beats me up. He doesn’t believe that I have stopped. I have learned that cheating is not good. I want to be loved again. Please help me!

Aunty Mzansi replies: You have been dating and cheating since you were 19? I want to talk as a mother now and not as a relationship coach.

How far did you go in school? Are you currently employed? Where do you see yourself in five years’ time? I would advise you to forget about men a bit and focus a lot on improving your life. Work on you.

You clearly are missing something and keep looking for it from men.

Dr Love replies: Sometimes we are socialised into certain lifestyles or we have a void in our lives that we try to fill with unhealthy lifestyle choices, which in your case is promiscuity.

It would benefit you tremendously to seek counselling to re-learn healthy coping skills. You have stopped because your boyfriend beats you up, but it’s not because you want to change.

You have not owned up to your problem and until then you might struggle to get it under control.