If a couple’s first date was the deciding factor of how the relationship will be, Enhle Mbali and Coffee’s marriage wouldn’t be where it is now.
Enhle Mbali Maphumulo has opened up about her relationship with husband Nkosinathi Maphumulo, popularly known as DJ Black Coffee, and her stepson, Esona, in an interview with Anele Mdoda.
Going back on how things started with Black Coffee, Mbali said she met him on the set of Chesa, though she was still dating someone at the time. When they met, nothing happened and it was all innocent for her until the two had a conversation that made her see him in a whole new light.
“I was like ‘oh wow, well done, he’s smart’.”
At first she thought he was an actor, a misconception that was corrected by her colleagues on set, who told her Black Coffee was a DJ.
“I said sure, goodbye, and he was gone,” she said, as she did not like the idea of dating a DJ.
However, Black Coffee was persistent as he sent her a message and asked her out for coffee, an invitation she turned down, until she couldn’t any more as the We Dance Again hit maker was not giving up.
“Sunday he came through and said, ‘Listen, I’m gonna take you to my gigs. I understand that you’re busy and this was the only free day you had and I didn’t want to miss it, so do you mind?’
“I was there, so I said, ‘Let’s do it, and we went gigging.’ I think that night we had to stop at Woolies because all the restaurants were closed. From Woolies we went to his place and had microwave food, breaking all my rules.”
What she loved most about the date was the conversation, which she said was “on fleek”.
“I think I left early morning and I thought, ‘I shouldn’t even be doing the walk of shame because I did nothing,’ but it was amazing. From that day on I thought ‘okay, maybe’.”
It was horrible, she said, though their second date made up for it.
They saw each other every day from that day and, three months into their relationship, Black Coffee went down on one knee and asked Mbali to be his bride
Among other things, what made Mbali fall in love with Coffee was his effort to see his then girlfriend even though they both had hectic schedules. He would call her in the morning to ask when she would be free, and would go spend time with her, even if it was just for a few minutes.
“I don’t know how many times a day we saw each other. He made so much time to see me and the effort made a difference,” she said.
Though the couple exudes calm on social media, Mbali said she loved that they could be “stupid” together, but also serious together when necessary.
“It’s a synergy of everything and it works.”
When they married in a traditional ceremony at Mbali’s house in Soweto in 2011, they then decided not to have a white wedding and build a house instead.
“Throughout those years, we bought property, sold property, we bought land, sold land.”
Coffee was, however, pushing for a white wedding, which they finally had earlier this year at Sun City.
Though Mbali may have been the envy of many after marrying the hottest DJ in South Africa at that moment, what they didn’t realise was that she had to be a wife to a man who has a teenage son, something that proved to be a bit tricky for her.
“It’s very hard being a mother to a teenager when I have only been a mother to toddlers. So I am having to skip so many steps to be a teen’s mom. So he gets away with a lot because I am always, like, am I being too nice, am I not being too nice? Am I being too stern or am I not being too stern?
“He’s not mine so I almost have to treat him a certain way so that he doesn’t feel unloved. There’s a lot that happens in my psyche that I think a lot of stepmothers go through that as well. It’s a lot,” she said.
All was not bad, however, as Mbali said motherhood brought with it love and enough patience to help her navigate through this phase in her life.